Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.
Cysts on my ovaries? The shock of it all.
Reproduction is not until the next block, I don’t know much…yet
PCOS
The PA is talking of metformin and birth control
Isn’t that a diabetic medication? Why would I need it?
I’m too scared to ask. It cannot be. Liiiiike, say it ain’t so.
PCOS
My skin is breaking out.
My neck has gotten darker.
The irregular and painful periods.
The insomnia.
The crazy sweet tooth.
My hair has been thinner lately.
My testosterone is elevated.
The rapid weight gain. The struggle with weight loss. My frustrated efforts.
It all makes sense. It is not entirely my fault. I should not have been so hard on myself.
PCOS
I am a medical student on the other side of a scary diagnosis.
I think about all the ways I want my provider to show up.
I wish I had more time to process and ask my questions.
I wish my message on the patient portal was addressed.
I see medicine from a new angle.
I resolve to be a rock when I deliver an unsettling diagnosis.
To avail myself to my patient through the uncertainty and stages of grief.
PCOS
I scour every article PubMed has to offer. C.R.A.P style.
Something about inositol imbalance and insulin resistance. Metformin begins to make sense.
Something about fertility. I want to be able to have children.
With options come power.
I remember that I am still human. This body of mine is frail. I am angry and disappointed
Why me? I have always had a clean health bill.
When did things change and how did I not notice?
Why didn’t this PA tell me more?
Where do I go from here? What is to come?