Written & Performed by Shanice Cox
Take a Moment
Chapter I: Obstetrics and Gynecology
Take a moment… to breathe
Take a moment…to seize…this moment that sits before you
Take a moment… to see,
beyond the gown, the drape, or the anatomy
Take a moment… to listen to the history,
To the crackles in her speech, to her hesitation,
To the hum in her pause, to her tone’s vibration,
Take a moment… to view
What it is that lies in front of you
As her hand is carefully positioned behind her head,
And the gown is respectfully placed,
while ribbons gently touch the side of the bed,
and the slight embarrassed flush of her face
Take a moment…to view
the contour of her breast
Clockwise and counter
view symmetry, asymmetry,
are you still there?
Or has she become a mindless exercise of your checklist,
color, texture,
Are the nipples inverted,
Is discharge produced,
are nodules immobile,
is her quality of life reduced?
Take a moment… to be silent
With differentials and questions and familial history pooling in the mind,
For you must make space in this stillness of time,
To deliver a news that may shift the course of this rhyme
Take a moment…to reimagine,
That this couldn’t be you,
That you couldn’t be the one
To look in her eyes and deliver the troubling news,
It was the life you wanted,
The only specialty you knew,
But over the course of your training,
The weight of this burden grew,
Take a moment…to revisit
Those feelings that once were,
Filled with such promise,
That now feel so obscure,
Take a moment…to gather
Your thoughts,
your desires to serve in this space,
To counsel, to teach, to empower, and to share a thoughtful embrace,
To right the wrongs of centuries-old medical practice
With dignity, humility, and grace
You approached the field,
With only the thoughts of positive outcomes,
But failed to consider…when there wasn’t one,
Your story did not capture the woman who fell ill,
Or when the fetus had been delivered,
Cold, pulseless, and still
Take a moment…to process
How you revered in maintaining the health of the womb,
But after seven days on the service,
This vessel of life,
Evolves into a hollow, pear-shaped tomb,
Take a moment….to reconsider,
What life would be if you made more room,
To till the soil of your garden,
And allow for the seeds of destiny to bloom,
Take a moment…to look
Into the mirror and see what you’ve become,
Because there in that reflection,
There is a slight resemblance of someone,
Fragments of the old, but glimpses of the new,
Moments that reflect past passions,
but notes of what they had morphed into,
This desire to serve extended farther than that of the woman’s womb,
And in this infinite Eden of possibility,
My brainchild found room
Chapter II: Urology
Take a moment…to reset
To look at this rotation anew,
Because what you had been searching for,
had somehow found you,
It began with a knock on the door,
And a sheepish reply “You may enter”
Unconsciously I shift my attention to the woman,
But she is not who sits at the center
Take a moment…to view,
The air of defeat in the slouch of his posture,
Take a moment ….to recognize his courage to seek a doctor,
He peers up at you,
An emptiness in his gaze,
His wife quickly rushes over to hold his hand,
To somewhat mask the depth of his dismay
He tells me of their journey,
And how they’ve tried for years and years,
Until they sought the help of medical professionals,
Who would somehow ease their burgeoning fears,
He spoke of her strength,
Navigating conversations about her ability to conceive,
He spoke of her courage,
To defend and protect her family without reprieve,
Take a moment…to notice
The pain that continues to resurface,
And all that they had been through,
The waning support of their loved ones,
The constant judgement and ridicule,
Yet she sought answers,
she completed all the tests,
But when they all came back normal,
She entrusted him to do the rest,
Take a moment… to breathe
Take a moment…to seize…this moment that is before you
Take a moment… to see,
beyond the gown, the drape, or the anatomy
Take a moment… to listen to the history,
To the crackles in his speech, to his hesitation,
To the hum in his pause, to his tone’s vibration,
Take a moment… to view
What it is that stands in front of you
As his hand is carefully positioned atop his head,
And the gown is respectfully placed,
while ribbons gently touch the side of the bed,
and the slight embarrassed flush of his face
Take a moment…to inspect
the meatus and penile shaft,
Testicle, epididymis, spermatic cord,
Give yourself this moment to perfect your craft,
Are the testes symmetric,
Is discharge produced,
Are prostate nodules immobile,
Is his quality of life reduced?
Take a moment…to reimagine,
That this could be you,
That you would someday be the one
To look into his eyes and deliver the hopeful news,
It was the life you wanted,
Combining the admiration of a specialty you once knew,
Yet a new seed was planted,
With a flourishing destiny coming true.
====================================================================
Artist Statement:
This piece is dedicated to my grandmother, Claudette Cox-Brown, who exposed me to the intricacies and
delicacy of reproductive health. She served as a nurse midwife in Jamaica, England, and New York and shared with me so many
precious narratives of femininity, obstetric care, and the hardships of navigating pregnancy whether wanted or unwanted in
years past. Over time, the initial intrigue of her stories sparked an interest to pursue a similar path, and it followed me for a large
portion of my life. It paved the way for research opportunities in college focused on breast cancer, a medical mission’s trip to
Durban, South Africa focusing on the obstetric care of mothers and babies affected by HIV, my first career as a medical assistant
at an OB/Gyn office in Washington DC, and even the acceptance of a medical fellowship whilst in medical school, and for that I
am truly grateful.
However, this dream of mine to be an OB/Gyn never included the emergencies that happen in the delivery room. And
when things go awry, it happens fast. In my many experiences, I had always seen the outcome of healthy mother and healthy
baby, but never considered the possibility of losing either. My time in the longitudinal clerkship exposed areas of my journey that
I seemingly avoided, or hadn’t been privy to, and placed me in an emotional headspace I couldn’t escape. The beloved field that
had my heart for so long, had cemented wounds that had me question what the next step would be. In this poem, I address
some of those hardships, but also this love that I have for reproductive medicine transforming into something more, something
that created a space for old passions, but hopeful futures.
Urology has been that great awakening for me, not that I had slept through the life of undergraduate medical
education, but just an opportunity to see things both old and new with renewed purpose. Traits and behaviors that I had
perfected in my pursuit of being an obstetrician, have crafted my mindset about practicing urogynecology. I feel hopeful that my
interests in gynecologic procedures that focus on health after childbirth such as pelvic floor instability and urinary incontinence,
along with surgeries with the intent to tackle conversations that have are attached to social stigma such as female genital
mutilation and transgender medicine, can be cultivated in this field.
This poem takes you on that journey with me, the journey of facing those emotional hardships with the patient, and
within myself. Take a moment was written as my reminder to find some time, even just for a brief moment to be in that moment.
It is a mantra I use to escape my racing thoughts, to reconnect with patients, to observe, to reflect, and be mindful of the here
and now and sacredness of the space that my medical journey has afforded me. Take a moment though dedicated to my
grandma is a thank you to each obstetrician/gynecologist, midwife, nurse, charge staff, medical assistant, phlebotomist, practice
manager, and sanitation engineer that inspired and prepared me to seek and gain knowledge about every aspect of feminine
health. It is also a commitment to each urologist/urogynecologist, resident, and therapist who have accepted, mentored, and
exhibited patience and support as I worked to figure out the journey that lies ahead.